Wishful Thinking

Can I vent for a second? I promise to do better tomorrow.

I wish I could be the girl to kick and scream when things don’t go right instead of internalizing it all and breaking down later.

I wish I could be the girl that didn’t watch silently as lies are told to her face.

I wish I could be the girl that spoke freely the very moment something didn’t feel right.

I wish I could be the girl that didn’t always say “I’m fine” when the world is on her shoulders.

I wish I could be the girl to pretend to have a tough exterior all the time.

I wish I could show that I care more. Maybe I wouldn’t lose so many people in the process.

I wish I gave myself enough time to cry and grieve properly.

I wish I had a computer to write all this down and not through my phone. Lol. *smile*

I guess I’m wishing I wasn’t the way that I am but how wasteful it is to think like that. My wishful thinking is actually destructive to my betterment. This is how I am now, but not forever. So instead, I’m hoping and looking forward to better days.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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6 comments

  1. Feelings are neither negative nor destructive. They are simply truths. How you express your truth is what matters.
    When you express your truth with love, negative and damaging results rarely occur, and, when they do, it is usually because someone else has chosen to experience your truth in a negative or damaging way. In such a case, there is probably nothing you can do to avoid the outcome.
    Certainly, failing to express your truth would hardly be appropriate. Yet people do this all the time. So afraid are they to cause or to face possible unpleasantness that they hide their truth altogether.

    SN: this is what blogs do to me -blog my thoughts in someone else’s blog πŸ˜€

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