valentine's day love

It’s that time of year again that everyone loves to hate. I don’t mind Valentine’s Day. The candy is always good and there’s always enough for everyone. What I don’t like about Valentine’s Day is the pressure that society attaches to it.

Sometimes, Valentine’s Day makes people feel unworthy and unloved. This couldn’t be further from the truth. We see couples publicly proclaiming their love for one another and think that we should have that same love. While their love might be great, it’s theirs. It comes with hard work, dedication, commitment, boundaries, sacrifices, etc. We sometimes look at relationships and think they are goals to attain but we have no idea how they got to where they are or the struggles they face to stay there. Not having what someone else does doesn’t take away from how special you are. Once you realize that, you’ll be closer to attaining what was meant for you.

If Valentine’s Day is really about showing love, then it’s not just a romantic holiday at all. I’ve probably said this on here before but romantic love isn’t the only love there is. We focus so much on love from a significant other when that love should come from self FIRST. When you love yourself, you become a lovable person; the love you have for yourself will shine through. Now, that doesn’t mean that you’ll get a mate. Clearly, I’m perfect yet still mateless HA! But when you love yourself, you create more room for love to fill you in unexpected ways. So don’t turn down that candy from your colleague, girl. Appreciate that hug from your niece, boy. Valentine’s Day is about LOVE, period.

Also, here’s something I want you to remember: You are not that difficult to love. Who cares that he or she doesn’t get you or why you’re awesome? That person wasn’t for you and they aren’t worth your tears. Let go.

When you do find the love that’s worth every moment, cherish that gift and be completely vulnerable. I was watching Super Soul Sunday this week and was intrigued by the words of the guest, Richard Rohr. He spoke about a lot of things but what struck me the most was what he said about love and risk.

“To fall in love, you have to take the risk of changing yourself for this person. You have to let go of who you thought you were before you loved that person. You’re giving them the power to change you. If you don’t give your partner the power to change you, I don’t think you really love them.” Richard Rohr

Falling in love is a gift that can only be unwrapped when you’re ready. When you’ve reached that level of comfort, you must give the other person the power to change you. If you’re not willing to risk being changed by someone you love, is it worth it? If they can’t move you, inspire you, make you better, is it love?

I’m no expert and these are just my thoughts but I wanted to share a few thoughts for someone who might need it. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day, the perfect time or perfect person. Choose love everyday. It will be difficult and sometimes uncomfortable but in the end, it will be worth it.

Image Source: We Heart It