The constant battle, pt 1

I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem with being transparent but doing it on a blog is a whole different story. Online, you have to worry about protecting people’s identities. How much is too much to disclose? Will they read the post? Will they know the post is about them? Will they be upset? I’ve never given names in my posts when it came to serious matters and I won’t start now. That is not necessary. But writing about it is.

I’m fighting myself right now. It’s been a constant battle I’d say for most of 2011. I’ve written about it before but I was vague. I’ve talked to a few friends and the answers are always the same. Heck, God has spoken to me but I argued with Him too.

It’s weird how time allows a lot of things to happen. I just read an email from a year ago that nearly broke my heart. I wrote in detail to my friends about a situation I was in. Feelings of pain, distrust, hurt, anger and numbness. How ironic that on that exact day a year later, I’m feeling somewhat the same way. Man, when I saw God has a very weird sense of humor….is it kismet?

I’m really tired though. You win God, you win.

Stay tuned. Until then, read up on the movie that finally sparked this post.

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  • http://myafricancloset.wordpress.com cjaj09

    I don’t know what the background is to this post but I do know all about fighting and going round in circles with God. in essence as long as we keep asking for his will, In the end, like you said, he wins, he always wins.

  • http://www.thewritecurldiary.com GG

    I’m intrigued. I know what you mean about transparency too. Sometimes i wish i’d made me blog anonymous so that I could go in on certain things more freely.

  • http://blackgirlcry.wordpress.com Jess J.

    I am curious too! I must say though, I have a few extremely personal posts on my blog and I have to say that when I write it, despite the fears and hesitations, I always am surprised (in a good way) by the response. It feels so good to juts say it out loud, you know? I don’t like darkness in my life and I feel that’s what secrets are, when you shed light on them they lose their power.

  • Pingback: The constant battle, pt 2 « Miss Lucy's Blog

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