How many times have you sat down to complete a task and ended up watching television instead? The next thing you knew, your entire day is gone and you haven’t gotten any work done. Just me?
“Prayers are prophesies. They are the best predictors of your spiritual future. Who you become is determined by how you pray. Ultimately, the transcript of your prayers becomes the script of your life.” The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson
In 2005, I was 20 years old. I moved off campus and into my own apartment – all 602 square feet of it. I had no living room set, no cable, but it was my cozy home. As the frigid months approached, I realized that I was in way over my head. At the time, I was working part-time at a daycare making $7.25 an hour. I was a full-time college student. I had $1000 a month in bills to pay. I fell into a deep depression that year. Routinely, I would have a pastor friend of mine wake up at 6am and pray for me before I went in to work. Looking back, I know that it was only God that got me through that year.
When most little girls and boys were playing with baby dolls and action figures, I was busy entertaining myself with my board game called The Game of LIFE. Man, I wanted to be a grown up so bad that I was okay settling with the toy version of adulthood. Should I go to college or straight to work? Should I have a family of four or travel the world? Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. And surely, just like in real life, your choices will be affected by the path you choose. That’s just life.
Our real lives are very much like The Game of LIFE, isn’t it? Brimming with twists and turns and uncertainty. Change is indeed scary, but it is necessary for growth. [Read more…]
One who has finally learned that it is in the nature of objects to come and go without ceasing, rests in detachment and is no longer subject to suffering. —Ashtavakra Gita
I have a problem: I think I’ve grown attached.
Recently, I found myself lamenting to a friend about being alone. I cried about not having anyone. Yes, I have a few friends, but they have husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and kids and dogs. That’s the sucky part about growing older. Everyone starts pairing up and you’re just crouched in a corner ripping the crust off of stale bread. Or whatever. Maybe you want what they have, maybe you don’t. All that matters is that you’ve become painfully aware of your aloneness as you mature.
So naturally, you try to find someone or something to attach to. You become attached and you want to do everything with that person. That’s not always possible or logical. So what do you do? You smack yourself in the face and say, “Self, get a grip and grow up.” People are not possessions and situations are not permanent.
So you quit your day job for your daydream and now your daydream is turning into a nightmare. Or something like that. Well, don’t panic. If you, like me, still feel strongly about your decision to leave a position, remember why you did it and keep on believing.
I’ll admit, today wasn’t the most inspiring of days but I always come across some hopeful reads that lift my spirits. According to Forbes, 2014 is the year for women entrepreneurs. That’s exciting and encouraging because we’re all in the same boat: shifting our dreams into fruition. Glass ceiling what?! Tuh.
So before that daydream of yours turns into a full-on nightmare, try these four things.
I think the gravity of what I’ve done is finally affecting me.
I quit my job. There are no more paychecks coming in. It’s time to pay the bills. The magnitude of this realization caused me not to want to get out of bed this morning.
And then I’m reminded of words my good friend GG shared with me when I first told her I quit my job:
A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. – Grace Murray Hopper
I thought long and hard about what I would do for this Ford Fiesta social activism post. I thought about volunteering or highlighting an entrepreneur’s business. All of those are well and nice things to do, especially during the holidays. Giving back is good for the soul. But as I was getting ready to go, an uneasy feeling made me pause in my tracks.
I decided that I was going to a nursing home yesterday. I was listening to Beyonce’s new album and the track, Pretty Hurts, immediately resonated within me. For the past few days, it was the first song on my mind when I woke up. As I struggled to find something to wear, I realized that I didn’t really want to go. I know, that sounds really horrible.
How can I not want to spend time creating a care package for someone who probably never receives visitors?
Sometimes I think we use charity as a way to feel good about ourselves – to feed our souls. Let me spare this dollar to a homeless person. There, I’ve done my good deed of the day. Or, You really want that sandwich? Don’t worry, I got you. Because I’m just a good person like that. But really, are you a good person? Shouldn’t doing and giving come natural to you? To us?