illustrations by Lim Heng Swee
One who has finally learned that it is in the nature of objects to come and go without ceasing, rests in detachment and is no longer subject to suffering. —Ashtavakra Gita
I have a problem: I think I’ve grown attached.
Recently, I found myself lamenting to a friend about being alone. I cried about not having anyone. Yes, I have a few friends, but they have husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and kids and dogs. That’s the sucky part about growing older. Everyone starts pairing up and you’re just crouched in a corner ripping the crust off of stale bread. Or whatever. Maybe you want what they have, maybe you don’t. All that matters is that you’ve become painfully aware of your aloneness as you mature.
So naturally, you try to find someone or something to attach to. You become attached and you want to do everything with that person. That’s not always possible or logical. So what do you do? You smack yourself in the face and say, “Self, get a grip and grow up.” People are not possessions and situations are not permanent.
Lessons from the weekend.
So you quit your day job for your day-dream and now your day-dream is turning into a nightmare. Or something like that. Well, don’t panic. If you, like me, still feel strongly about your decision to leave a position, remember why you did it and keep on believing.
I’ll admit, today wasn’t the most inspiring of days but I always come across some hopefel reads that lift my spirits. According to Forbes, 2014 is the year for women entrepreneurs. That’s exciting and encouraging because we’re all in the same boat: shifting our dreams into fruition. Glass ceiling what?! Tuh.
So before that day-dream of yours turns into a full-on nightmare, try these four things.
One of my favorite blogs to read is by Nicole Antoinette of A Life Less Bullshit blog. Besides the fact that her main objective is living a bullshit-free life (lol to the name), she is completely transparent and 100% dedicated to helping you and I stop living these fake ass lives. Today I received an email from her about a monthly review of the goals that she set for herself and her blog. I thought it was awesome of her to share it with us and now I’m sharing it with you. Check out the template for yourself, then read mine below.
Every time I put this book down and pick it back up again, it blows me away. Introspection and self-awareness are critical to me. Reading The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer literally agitates my constant ruminations. In a good way.
I think the gravity of what I’ve done is finally affecting me.
I quit my job. There are no more paychecks coming in. It’s time to pay the bills. The magnitude of this realization caused me not to want to get out of bed this morning.
And then I’m reminded of words my good friend GG shared with me when I first told her I quit my job:
A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. – Grace Murray Hopper
I thought long and hard about what I would do for this Ford Fiesta social activism post. I thought about volunteering or highlighting an entrepreneur’s business. All of those are well and nice things to do, especially during the holidays. Giving back is good for the soul. But as I was getting ready to go, an uneasy feeling made me pause in my tracks.
I decided that I was going to a nursing home yesterday. I was listening to Beyonce’s new album and the track, Pretty Hurts, immediately resonated within me. For the past few days, it was the first song on my mind when I woke up. As I struggled to find something to wear, I realized that I didn’t really want to go. I know, that sounds really horrible.
How can I not want to spend time creating a care package for someone who probably never receives visitors?
Sometimes I think we use charity as a way to feel good about ourselves – to feed our souls. Let me spare this dollar to a homeless person. There, I’ve done my good deed of the day. Or, You really want that sandwich? Don’t worry, I got you. Because I’m just a good person like that. But really, are you a good person? Shouldn’t doing and giving come natural to you? To us?
“Where there is love there is life.” — Mahatma Gandhi
Read this post this morning and thought someone would benefit from it. Sharing is caring.
BY NICOLA JANE HOBBS
Sometimes I wake up and my first thought is I didn’t get enough sleep. I get to the fridge to find that I don’t have enough fruit to make my smoothie. And then I look at my to-do list and realize I don’t have enough time to get even half way through it.
I get in my car and discover that I don’t have enough gas to get to the yoga studio. Later, I come home to a letter from my bank manager telling me I don’t earn enough for a mortgage.
And I spend the rest of the day feeling like I’m just not good enough.
The Never Enough Problem
Never good enough.
Never thin enough.
Never clever enough.
Never pretty enough.
Never rich enough.
Never successful enough.
We could all fill in the blank of “never __________ enough.”
We spend our lives calculating how much we have, how much we want, and how much we don’t have. And we compare this to what everyone else has (or to the visions of perfection we get from the media) – a self-defeating cycle that will always ends with the same conclusion: We are lacking. We never have enough. We never are enough.
But there is an answer to the Never Enough Problem: Gratitude.
Gratitude is what makes the glass half full. It reminds you that you have enough and that you are enough.