It was right before bed when I first heard Janelle Monae’s song, Q.U.E.E.N. I thought to myself, “what is this noise that I am I listening to right now?” By the second and third listen the next day, I finally realized how perfect it actually was. Oh yes, Miss Monae brought it with the funky beats and hip-hop slash gospel tones. But more than that, her lyrics spoke to the very thoughts I’ve been mulling over for quite some time. It was at that moment that I decided to reclaim my Queendom. I decided to reclaim the respect that I feel I’ve lost along my way.
“Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am.”
For a while now, I’ve been going back and forth on how to address the lack of respect that I’ve noticed among young women in today’s culture. Let me not point fingers. Although I pride myself in being a respectable person, I am very much speaking to myself as well. I’ve begun to notice that I was showing a lack of respect for myself by my actions. Trust me when I say that the following reads as a letter to you and I. If you find that you’re struggling in this area as well, please, listen up.
Everyday, we groan and complain about the things God isn’t giving us. Yes, He already knows our earnest desires. But many times, those desires are what we’re being protected from. So we cry out “why, why?” when really, we should be saying thank you. Thank you for sparing me from a world of hurt and disappointment. Thank you for protecting me from evil. Thank you for giving me the gift of acceptance.
“My crown too heavy, like the Queen Nefertiti.”
Respecting myself is one of the biggest lessons I’m learning as an adult. People might not like you. It happens and it’s okay. Just respect yourself enough not to give anyone the opportunity to disgrace you.
- Respect yourself enough to want more than what you’re getting.
- Respect yourself enough to be patient and wait.
- Respect yourself enough to walk away from a potentially bad situation (business or personal).
Afraid of the loneliness? We all are. Take that time to get to know you, to develop your identity.
I haven’t always made the best decisions; I still don’t. But if you want respect, you have to start acting like a respectable person. Stop accepting the bullshit that people toss at you.
Every time we accept less than what we deserve (e.g. ungratefulness at work, lack of acknowledgment by a loved one, fear of what we can accomplish), we lose a bit of our Queendom.
“She who writes the movie owns the script and the sequel.”
Remember who you are (a QUEEN), whose you are (the KING’s) and what you’re worth (every fucking thing).