Category Archives: Inspiration

A blessed day

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Bahamas, 2009

Bahamas, 2009

Have you ever laid in bed at night wondering whether you would open your eyes the next morning? Scary, right? But for many of us, when our alarm blares, by the grace of God, we open our eyes again. I don’t know about you but sometimes I just want to exhale. Whew! I made it another day! I’m not sure why He saw fit for me to live but I’m sure glad He did. Being alive…it truly is a blessing.

I woke up in the morning feeling fresh to death
I’m so blessed, yes yes
I went to sleep stressed, woke up refreshed
I’m so blessed, yeah yes
Water in my face and everything is in its place
Peace of mind even my grace
I’m so blessed, yes yes yes

Respect the queen

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PicMonkey Collage (2) (1)It was right before bed when I first heard Janelle Monae’s song, Q.U.E.E.N. I thought to myself, “what is this noise that I am I listening to right now?” By the second and third listen the next day, I finally realized how perfect it actually was. Oh yes, Miss Monae brought it with the funky beats and hip-hop slash gospel tones. But more than that, her lyrics spoke to the very thoughts I’ve been mulling over for quite some time. It was at that moment that I decided to reclaim my Queendom. I decided to reclaim the respect that I feel I’ve lost along my way.

“Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am.”

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A lesson in winning

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I got the opportunity to sit in on a photo shoot with Kandi Burruss over the weekend. This was pretty exciting for me. I even tried to come up with a plan to ask her a few questions about her clothing store in Atlanta but I didn’t push it, lol. Of all the Atlanta “housewives”, Kandi is the most successful to me.

I don’t know much about Kandi but I do have a few things that I admire about her when it comes to success. Even before the show, she wore many hats. She is a singer-songwriter, producer, business owner and TV personality. I respect anyone that has a relentless drive and work ethic.

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I’ve never been one to ruthlessly go after what I really wanted. Fear and doubt have always crippled me from trying. I do realize that not asking and not doing will keep me in the same stagnant situation. Taking risks has never been my strong suit. There’s something weird to me about approaching a random person about an opportunity. I suppose that’s how you get ahead but it’s a lesson that I’m still learning.

I was having a conversation with my friend Ben that eventually became a discussion about my blog. I know I say this a lot but I am still genuinely surprised when people tell me they read it. Seriously! Anyway. A lot of what he said to me was about doing the work and taking the risks. Basically, things that make me nervous.

“Can’t get a huge win from a small bet.” Benjamin Styles

What I see with Kandi is that she isn’t afraid to try something. I mean, she has a sex toy line AND a gospel song out at the same time. If that isn’t risky, I don’t know what is. A successful person can’t be afraid to think and act big. And if what you’ve tried doesn’t work, then you have the tools and experience to make positive changes the next go around.

I think we all have the tools in order to be winners. Remind yourself why you want what you want and adamantly pursue it as if your life depended on it.

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Inspired: confidence

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Even the most arrogantly confident of people have a little bit of self-doubt in them. It’s what pushes them to be better, to become “perfect”. It seems like we’re always on a journey to figure out our purpose in life. We’re trying to find out who we are and where we belong. And sometimes when you don’t have all the answers, the feelings of uncertainty can be nerve-wrecking.

One of my favorite designers, Diane von Fürstenberg, sheds some insightful thoughts about confidence.

The most important relationship you have in life is the relationship you have with yourself. No matter what happens, you always have yourself. Every pain, every joy, every satisfaction – you always have yourself…

In order to like yourself, first you have to be tough with yourself. You have to be demanding on yourself, you have to be true to yourself, you have to know what’s good about you, what’s not good about you. And you have to always say the truth.

Once you have that relationship, then it’s true friendship.

The best and most fulfilling relationship you can ever have is the one you build with yourself. Be your own best friend. Build yourself up. Watch your confidence grow.

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Inspired: wanderlust

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“Still, despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, ever since I was sixteen years old and first went to Russia with my saved-up babysitting money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless, newborn baby–I just don’t care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it’s mine. Because it looks exactly like me. It can barf all over me if it wants to–I just don’t care.” Eat Pray Love

I’ve never been satisfied with staying in one place. Whether it was moving from apartment to apartment, or traveling to visit friends, or just getting out of the house, my desire to see new things is unquenchable. I think it’s part of my sense of wonder. I’m amazed by the smallest of natural things. I try to see the beauty in everything.

This weekend, I spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. Isolation is probably not the best for a really long time but I needed it. I needed to hear my thoughts even when I wanted to drown them out. I spent time daydreaming about the places that I have traveled and the places to come.

If you need any motivation to travel, here are eight of my personal reasons to hit the road.

  • scenery
  • culture
  • history
  • curiosity
  • food
  • people
  • religion
  • relaxation

Use your imagination. Dream up all of the places that you’d like to visit. Then feed your sense of wonder. Book a ticket and just go.

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A lifestyle of service

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Five years ago, our first African-American was elected the 44th president of the United States. Today, as we celebrate President Barack Obama’s second term, we also remember the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and his dream.

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Yesterday, I attended the annual observance of the King holiday at my alma mater, Kennesaw State University. This year’s guest speaker was the philosophical Dr. Cornel West. I will admit, I am not familiar with any of his works but his thirty minute message was so rich with substance that I was inspired. Dr. West reminded us that Dr. King’s movement was about his fight for freedom, equality and justice for all. We were reminded that Dr. King believed the only way to achieve any of these things was through nonviolence movements. His message of peace and love lives on, but we still have a long way to go.

Even if you didn’t volunteer today, I hope that before you close your eyes for bed, you will ask yourself a serious question Dr. West posed of the crowd last night. “What will be your prolific trek from the womb to the tomb?” What will people remember you by after you die? We know that MLK Jr Day is about “A Day On, Not a Day Off”, but what about making service a lifestyle? As President, Barack Obama can only do so much to immediately affect our world. WE have to possess the desire to revolutionize our communities. And we can.

Pick something, anything. What do you care about? What cause makes you so angry that it incites you to act? Your contribution is not too big or too small. Use whatever talent you have to do good. And even when your works do not receive acknowledgement, press on. Dr. King reminds us that “every step towards the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering and struggle”. Knowing this, our goal should be to be a part of a greater calling. Martin lived a life of service and died fighting for his cause. We must be willing to do the same. Suffer for something; be remembered for something.

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(12.12.12) Be great today

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Almost every morning, one of my good friends starts the day by telling everyone to “be great”. Seems kind of vague. Like, what do you mean be great? Should I impress my boss today? Do something extravagant today? What exactly does it mean to be great?

First off, no one is born great. Achieving greatness is based off of a decision to be great. It doesn’t happen over night. But like all of your desires, wants and dreams, it is something that you have to work towards everyday. When you wake up in the morning, you have to motivate yourself. Tell yourself: today, I will do one small thing, but it will be a great thing. Believe in yourself. Speak positively and confidently.

After you decide, you need to make a plan and then act on it. Execution is imperative. Being great means you can’t be lazy. I repeat (to myself), you cannot be lazy!

What do you create when you’re great? Being great doesn’t mean you have to create something “new”. Honestly, what is new anyway? Everything nowadays is recycled. The key is to take an idea, use your gifts and passionately make it your own.

And while you’re at it, how about looking great. This is something I had to realize myself recently. When you look great, you feel great. And oftentimes, people will take you more seriously.

It would be remiss of me not to mention to surround yourself with the greatest of people. Not in a creepy groupie kind of way, either. The people in your life. Your friends. You think they are great, right? I hope so.

Here’s an exercise:

Write down all of the reasons why you are great. No, this doesn’t make you arrogant. Sometimes, you have to encourage yourself.

What are you going to do today in order to be your greatest self?

 

I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.

- Muhammad Ali

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A positive disposition

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Sometimes it feels like we enjoy being unhappy. Something comforting about wallowing in self-pity. Woe is me. How much better and more fulfilling our lives would be if we focused more on the positive things happening in and around our lives. I came up with a list of ten things we can do to have a more positive outlook on life. Take heed.

  1. Smile – you’d probably be surprised to hear that I don’t really like smiling. I prefer to smile with my eyes, not with my teeth. Every once in a while, I’ll come across something that makes me smile. Today, it was a picture of a baby girl giving her father a sloppy wet kiss. It melted my heart and I genuinely smiled (with my eyes). However you like to smile, do it. Instant mood changer.
  2. Pray for someone – sometimes when you feel down and out about your situation, you want to vent to God with your “why me” speech. Stop it. Pray on behalf of someone else’s situation. There’s a blessing in praying for others. Intercede.
  3. Find a solution – your car broke down? Take the bus. Your boyfriend mistreats you? Leave him. You’ve been feeling sluggish? Change your diet. Instead of complaining about your situation, look for solutions to remedy it.
  4. Take deep breaths – if you’re any where as dramatic as I can be sometimes, you’ll turn some situations into soap operas. Stop it. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and focus.
  5. Say something good – a friend of mine always says to me, “tell me something good”. It kinda frustrated me because I’m someone who does 50 million things at once with twice as many thoughts running through my mind. I never have time to reflect on the good things happening to me throughout the day. Yet, if he asked me what was wrong about my day, I wouldn’t hesitate to answer. Make it a conscious effort to focus on the positive and eliminate the negative things in your life.
  6. Surround yourself with positive people – it’s a no-brainer that positive people give off great energy. No one wants to be around a Negative Nancy. Feed off of the positive energy and make it your own.
  7. Do a good deed – Christmas is right around the corner. This means charitable opportunities abound to make a difference. Go caroling at an orphanage or nursing home. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
  8. Go easy on yourself – quit it with the negative self-talk. We all make mistakes. No point in dwelling on them. Figure out what you can learn from it and move on.
  9. Make a gratitude list – we take the simplest things for granted, like being able to open our eyes every morning. What can you be grateful for today? Need help? Here are 60 things.
  10. Sing off-key, on purpose – nothing brings me more joy than randomly singing obnoxiously loud. I mean, no one can out-sing me in a Beyonce tune. NO ONE. :D

Happy Monday.

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